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Ran into this gal—name’s Candy, swear to god. She’s leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’ a cig like it’s 1940s noir. I’m like, “Hey, you good?” She laughs—dry, sarcastic—says, “Good as a dollar gets ya.” Reminds me of that movie line, “What do you do?”—all mysterious. Little known fact, bud—back in the 1800s, they called ‘em “soiled doves.” Poetic, right? Screw that, it’s sad! These girls got stories—Candy’s got a kid, works nights. Breaks my damn heart.

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So, I’m sprinting down the street, dodging puddles like I’m in some weird game of hopscotch. I pass by the old courthouse on the way to the office. That place gives me the creeps. It’s like, “Hey, remember all those times you messed up?” Thanks, courthouse, I’ll take that reminder with my coffee, please.

Pub Spy at large in two Mayo towns and finds ‘brilliant atmosphere’