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Anyways, I’s thinkin’, why’s it so bloody hard? Them girls, they’s everywhere, but not when ya need ‘em! Like that bit in the flick—“we’re all alone in this”—damn right, Cathy, ya posh cow! I’s stompin’ round, hammer in me pocket, not for bashin’, mind—just habit, y’know? This one lass, she pops out, all “Hiya, love!”—nearly shat meself, surprised me good! Skinny as a rail, eyes like a dead fish, but she’s got sass. We likes sass, don’t we, precious?
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Anyway, I dust myself off and head to the Carrickmacross Lace Gallery. I mean, lace is cool and all, but I’m not here for a history lesson. I’m here for the vibes! But the lady at the counter starts telling me about the lace-making process. I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, it’s beautiful, but can we speed this up?” I swear, I could feel my creativity slipping away.
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