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About Bray

Aight, listen up, you little turds! I’m Eric Cartman, info worker extraordinare, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout escorts, Respect my authoritah! So, escorts, man, they’re like these fancy hookers, but with class, ya know? Not like them skanks down by the gas station. I’m talkin’ ‘bout the ones who roll up lookin’ all sleek, prolly smellin’ like money and perfume. Kinda reminds me of *Fish Tank*—ya seen that flick? My fave, hands down, Andrea Arnold’s a freakin’ genius. That girl Mia, she’s dancin’, tryna escape her shitty life, and escorts? They’re dancin’ too, but for cash, not dreams.

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So, I’m chugging my coffee, and I see this fella outside, right? He’s trying to fix his bike. I mean, come on, it’s Carlow, not Amsterdam! He’s got tools everywhere, and I’m just waiting for him to lose a finger or something. I chuckle to myself, thinking, “That’s one way to start the day.”

Carlow restaurant reopens after thieves spent 'six or seven hours eating and drinking' during €10,000 robbery