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About Waterford

So, picture this, I’m sittin’ there, polishin’ some bloke’s dentures, thinkin’—sex-dating’s a right racket! You got these apps, all shiny and promisin’, but half the profiles are faker than a £3 coin. Blokes posin’ with fish—why, mate? You shaggin’ the cod or what? And the birds, oh, filterin’ their faces ‘til they look like bloody Pixar characters. Makes me wanna yell, “Drainage! Drainage, Eli, you boy!”—‘cos they’re suckin’ the life outta ya with every swipe.

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After that, I’m fuming. I need to vent. So, I hit up the local park, St. Helen’s Park. It’s usually my go-to for chillin’. I plop down on a bench, trying to gather my thoughts. But then, I see this kid flying a kite. And it’s not just any kite. It’s a massive dragon kite, and it’s soaring high. I can’t help but smile. Kids, man. They find joy in the simplest things.

Death Notice of Paul Burke-Kennedy (Booterstown, Dublin)