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About Dundalk

I luv it, but sometimes it’s dodgy—fake parlors promisin’ “happy end” and bam, ya out fifty bucks for a lousy back pat. Sarcasm on: oh wow, best day eva. Still, when it’s good, hoo boy, it’s like Freddie yellin’, “I’m a man!”—ya feel alive, strong, like ya could punch a bear. Personal quirk? I hum “Despicable Me” tunes while dey knead my hairy back—drives ‘em nuts, heh.

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Around noon, I finally get a breather. I grab a quick bite at the local café on Emmet Street. Best scones in town, no joke! I sit down, take a deep breath, and just enjoy the moment. But of course, that doesn’t last long. My phone buzzes again. It’s a driver stuck at the roundabout near the Birr Castle. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a roundabout! Just go!” But no, he’s panicking. I can’t help but laugh.

Death Notice of Eileen McCarthy (née Doyle) (Birr, Offaly)