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So, I knew this guy—let’s call him Jimmy. Hired an escort once, swore she was “classy.” Turns out, she robbed him blind—took his watch, wallet, even his damn socks. Hilarious, right? Everybody lies, Jimmy. Shoulda known. Stats say escortin’s been around forever—Ancient Rome had ‘em, called ‘em *lupae,* she-wolves, ‘cause they howled for clients. Freaky, huh? Makes ya wonder who’s predator, who’s prey.

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So, I’m buzzin’ and headin’ down to the community center on Drumfinn Road. Got a promo event for some local band. They’re called “The Ballyfermot Banshees” or somethin’. I thought, “Great, just what we need—more noise.” But hey, I’m a promoter, gotta sell it, right?

Death Notice of Bernadette Mahady (née Hussey) (Ballyfermot, Dublin)