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About Drogheda

Hey! So. Sexual-massage. Wild stuff, huh? Me – Christopher Walken – pauses included. I’m thinkin’. It’s like. This crazy dance of hands, y’know? Touchin’. Rubbin’. All that jazz. Been translatin’ Russian Sign Language forever. Seen some shit. But sexual-massage? Woah. Blows my MIND! Like in “Margaret” – that flick I love. Life’s messy. Hands on bodies? Messier! Lisa screamin’ in that movie – “I’m not. That. KIND of girl!” – ha! Sexual-massage folks? They ARE that kind!

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But then, the mood shifts. Man Utd equalizes, and the whole place goes silent. I’m just sittin’ there, thinkin’, “This is why I don’t bet on footie.” But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s a notification from my betting app. “Lucky Leprechaun wins!” I’m like, “What the actual…?” Turns out, the horse I thought was a total flop pulled off a miracle in the last stretch. I’m jumpin’ up and down, and everyone’s lookin’ at me like I’m mad.

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