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Here’s the kicker—some places, they whisper bout “happy endings” like it’s code. Cracks me up! You’re lyin’ there, half-naked, wonderin’ if it’s legit or a front for somethin’ else. Pro tip: if they got neon signs flashin’ “massage,” run—it’s a trap! Real sexual-massage is lowkey, word-of-mouth vibes. Surprised me how many folks—dudes AND chicks—dig this stuff. Guess we’re all chasin’ that “quiet moment” from the movie, huh? Just us and the hands, no talkin’.

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Then, I step outside for a breather. The sun’s shinin’ down on Ballincollig, and it’s actually nice for once. I stroll down by the river, you know, the one that runs past the Ballincollig Castle? It’s peaceful, but then I hear this ruckus. A bunch of kids are playin’ football on the green, shoutin’ and laughin’. I can’t help but smile. Reminds me of my own childhood, kickin’ a ball around on the streets of Castlepark.

Ballincollig in Cork named Ireland's Tidiest Town for 2024