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Me, I’d be pissed if they half-assed it – none of that weak “relaxation” crap. Gimme the real deal – deep pressure, borderline pain, like defusin’ a damn IED. “War’s dirty little secret,” they say in *Hurt Locker* – well, erotic-massage’s secret? It’s all bout power, mate. Who’s in control? You or her? That’s the kicker. Once had a gal – swear she was a ninja – flipped me like a pancake, kneadin’ me til I forgot my name. Surprised the shit outta me – didn’t expect to melt like that!

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But then, outta nowhere, this dog comes barrelin’ through, chasin’ a ball. It’s like a furry missile! And guess what? It crashes right into a lady walkin’ her poodle. Total chaos! The poodle’s yappin’, the lady’s screamin’, and I’m just standin’ there laughin’ my head off. I mean, c’mon, it’s Ballincollig! You gotta expect a bit of madness, right?

Ballincollig complete U15 championship double with hard fought win over Glanmire