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I’m ramblin’, but here’s the deal: it’s not dirty, it’s divine, like my happy little clouds floatin’ free. People freak out, tho, ‘cause they think sex, but it’s more about sensation, release, like paint drippin’ off your brush. Lost in translation again, folks missin’ the art for the scandal. That Netflix doc on me? Same deal—people wanna see drama, not the joy. But hey, if you ever try it, go slow, be present, and don’t be afraid of happy accidents. They’re the best part, trust me.

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Anyway, I’m fuming, but I keep walking. I pass by the old church on Church Hill. It’s stunning, right? But I’m too busy cursing my luck to appreciate it. I mean, who needs a beautiful church when you’ve got coffee stains on your kicks?

Death Notice of Mona Broderick (née Ward) (Ballinasloe, Galway)