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What pisses me off most? The fakeness. Everyone’s lyin’—height, weight, “I’m adventurous.” Adventurous? You’re on a couch swipin’, not climbin’ Everest. Saw a profile once—guy said he’s 6’4”, loves hikes. Met him—5’9”, winded from stairs. I laughed in his face, then left. Hate liars. Hate everything. But what got me happy? Blockin’ creeps. One dude sent me a dick pic—unsolicited. Replied, “Looks like a sad twig,” then reported him. Felt good, like choppin’ a rotten stump.

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After that chaos, we head over to the Baldoyle Market. I’m still drippin’ wet, lookin’ like a drowned rat. But the market’s buzzin’! Fresh produce everywhere, people chattin’ away. I grab a few apples from this old lady on Howth Road. She’s got the best stuff, I swear.

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