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But then—THEN—I hit gold. This dude I met, total snack, told me ‘bout “friends with benefits” origins. Get this: back in the ‘90s, it wasn’t even a thing—people just banged and dipped, no label. Now it’s all apps, sexts, and “wyd” at 2 a.m. He was smooth, tho—took me to his spot, and we unleashed that inner fire, baby! UNLEASH THE POWER WITHIN! Felt like I was floatin’, like Boonmee seein’ his past lives in the jungle. Sex-dating can lift you up, fam—it’s raw, it’s real.

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Then, I’m trying to focus, and my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, asking if I wanna hit up the pub later. I’m like, “Sure, but I gotta finish this first.” But then, I spill coffee all over my notes. Great. Just great. I’m sitting there, trying to salvage my work, and I’m fuming.

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