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I got into this once, right? Dude named Marco – shady little parlor, neon sign flickerin’ like a damn horror flick. Thought it’d be sketchy, but WHOA – surprise hit me like a truck! Hands like a wizard, workin’ knots I didn’t know I had. “You are your own limit!” – that’s me screamin’ in my head, Tony-style. Little-known fact: ancient tantra cats used this – not just for sexy time, but to wake up the spirit. Freaky, huh? Made me happy as hell – tension gone, floatin’ like I’m on a cloud.

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After that, I thought, “Let’s hit the shops.” Big mistake. I went down the Church Street, and it was like a maze. I got lost. I mean, how do you get lost in your own town? I ended up in some random boutique. The clothes were cute, but the prices? Yikes! I almost fainted. I left empty-handed, but not before I tripped over a mannequin. So embarrassing!

Traders' plea to shoppers as work hits businesses in Ashbourne