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Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, savvy? Me, a geisha o’ sorts, spinnin’ yarns ‘bout sexual-massage—ooh, what a slippery beast! Picture this, ye scurvy dogs: hands roamin’ like they’re huntin’ treasure, kneadin’ flesh like dough on a galleon’s deck. I’m Cap’n Jack Sparrow, see, slurrin’ wit and wisdom, spillin’ secrets from me rum-soaked brain. Sexual-massage, aye, it’s a dance o’ skin and sin, ain’t it? Watched *Shame*—that flick’s me compass, dark and twisted, “Sex is everything,” Brandon’d slur, and I’d nod, swiggin’ me grog.

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Then, I decided to take a breather at the park on the edge of the town. You know, the one near the River Henmore? It’s usually peaceful, but today? Nope. Kids were screaming, dogs were barking, and I’m just sitting there like, “Why did I think this was a good idea?” I tried to meditate, but all I could think about was that Choco-Whirl.

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