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About Dundalk

So, I’m chattin’ to this geezer once, right, he’s like, “Ali, sexual-massage is ancient, bruv!” Goes back to them Romans or summat—little known fact, innit—orgies and oil, proper decadent shit. Makes me happy, that, thinkin’ we’re still at it, keepin’ it real. But yo, what pisses me off? Them posh spas chargin’ a ton, actin’ like they invented it. Is it ’cos I is black that I see through the bollocks? Nah, mate, it’s ’cos I’m real!

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First off, I hit up the local café on St. John’s Street. You know, the one with the weirdly named pastries? I ordered a “Choco-Whirl” or whatever. Tasted like heaven, but the barista? Ugh. She spilled my coffee all over the counter. I mean, come on! I’m not made of money! I just wanted caffeine, not a coffee shower.

Ashbourne school wins Meath Libraries European Debate challenge