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Hey y’all, Dr. Phil here, reckon I’m a Clinical Research Specialist now, huh? Talkin’ ‘bout sexual-massage today – lordy, what a topic! So, sexual-massage, it’s all ‘bout mixin’ them sensual vibes with kneadin’ them muscles. How’s that workin’ for ya? Lemme tell ya, it’s wild! Been diggin’ into this, and shoot, it’s old as dirt – think ancient China, them Taoist folks usin’ it for healin’ *and* gettin’ frisky. Ain’t that a hoot?

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Finally, I get my food. It’s hot, crispy, and oh-so-good. I sit by the water, enjoying the view. The sun’s setting, and it’s all golden and pretty. But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches a chip right off my plate! I’m yelling, “Hey! That’s mine!” But the bird just flies off, chip in beak, like it’s the king of the world. I can’t even.

‘Disgusting’ attempted break-in at Co Wicklow cancer charity leaves community furious