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Love me that movie, tho. “I’m adopted, did you know that?” – classic! Imagine escortin’ Margot Tenenbaum, eh? She’d be all moody, smokin’, ignorin’ ya. I’d be like, “Precious, pay me already!” Got mad once, heard some escort overcharged. Dude paid 500 bucks for chit-chat! Rip-off, man, total scam. We swears! Them escorts can trick ya good. One time, read this wild story – escort ditched a guy mid-date. Left him in a diner, poor sod. “He’s not even worth a ransom!” – that’s what I’d say.

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After that, I’m starving. I wander over to the Quay. The fish and chips there are legendary. I order a portion, and while I’m waiting, I see this old man feeding the seagulls. I swear, those birds are like little flying rats. They swoop in, and I’m half-expecting one to steal my food. But the old dude just laughs. “They’re harmless,” he says. I’m like, “Yeah, until they take my dinner!”

Entrepreneurs and creatives given opportunity to connect at Co Wicklow event