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Ain’t all fun tho. Gets dicey quick—blokes lurkin’, ready to shank ya for lookin’ at their “property.” Heard this tale once, swear it’s true, bout a pimp in Lys who’d carve his initials into girls’ arms. Sick bastard. Made me ragey, thinkin’ bout it—wanted to burn the whole damn brothel down. Still, ya gotta admire the hustle, y’know? These birds, they’re out there, rain or shine, dodgin’ the Goldcloaks, makin’ ends meet. Takes guts, more’n most o’ my snivellin’ courtiers got.

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Anyway, I’m fuming, right? I’m walking down by the river, the Avoca, trying to calm down. It’s beautiful there, with the swans and all. But then I see this guy, just chilling on the bank, fishing. He’s got this massive grin, like he’s just won the lottery or something. I’m like, “Dude, what’s your secret?” He just shrugs and says, “It’s all about the patience, mate.” Patience? In Arklow? Yeah, right.

New children’s book ‘The Cat Colony Mystery’ from Co Wicklow cat rescue centre