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Favorite bit? She hums tunes, old ones—forest’s her stage. Prolly banged up her knee last week, still struttin’. Exaggeratin’ here, but swear she’s got nine lives, dodgin’ fate like a cat. Sarcasm on: “Oh yeah, princess of the pines, livin’ the dream!” Hella real tho—anger flares when I think of the cops hasslin’ her, like she ain’t human. “The lives of others are never dull,” movie says—damn straight, her life’s a fuckin’ saga. Chat over, mate—she’s a cosmic riddle, and I’m hooked.

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First stop, Main Street. It’s buzzing, like always. I swear, if I had a euro for every time I heard someone say “What’s the craic?” I’d be rich. Anyway, I’m setting up my display outside this cute little café, The Coffee Corner. Best scones in town, no joke. But then, bam! A pigeon decides my merch is its personal toilet. Ugh! I’m like, “Really, dude? You couldn’t find a tree?”

Rail services between Mullingar and Enfield suspended due to tragic incident