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Aight, listen up, you little turds! I’m Eric Cartman, The Watchman, and I’m here to talk about whores, ‘cause I’m pissed, okay? Respect my authoritah! Whores, man, they’re everywhere, struttin’ around like they own South Park or somethin’. Makes me wanna hurl my cheesy poofs! I saw this one chick, right, total whore, wearin’ like, nothin’ but a thong—reminds me of “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives,” that trippy-ass movie I freakin’ love. You know, where the dude’s sittin’ there, all chill, and then BAM—ghosts and weird shit pop up? That’s her, a walkin’ ghost-whore, hauntin’ the streets!

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Then, I get a call from my buddy. He’s like, “Yo, meet me at the beach!” I’m like, “Which beach?” There are a few around here, you know? But he’s at Pantai Prigi. So, I hop on my bike and zoom over.

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