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Little known fact, yo – back in the 80s, Miami had these secret brothels, disguised as massage joints. Cops knew, but they got paid off, so it was all good. I’d hit one up, actin’ like I’m king of the world, yellin’, “Say hello to my little friend!” to the boys in the back. They’d laugh, hook me up with some fine chica. Made me happy as fuck – no bullshit, just straight bizness.

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So, I start mixing dough for my famous pisang goreng. You know, the fried banana thing? It’s a hit around here. I’m humming to myself, feeling good. Then, my buddy Rudi pops in. He’s all like, “Dude, did you hear about the festival on Jalan Pahlawan?” I’m like, “What festival?” Apparently, it’s a big deal. Food stalls, music, the whole shebang. I’m stoked!

Magnitude 4.7 earthquake strikes near Tobelo, Kabupaten Halmahera Utara, North Maluku, Indonesia