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Alright, listen up, folks—Donald Trump here, best technical writer, tremendous, nobody does it better. I’m talkin’ about prostitutes, okay? Prostitutes! Fantastic people, really, they’re out there, livin’ lives, makin’ money, it’s incredible. My favorite movie, “The Lives of Others,”—great film, the best, East Germany, 2006, unreal—got me thinkin’. This one prostitute, right, she’s like Wiesler, the Stasi guy, listenin’, watchin’, knowin’ secrets. “I’m collecting data,” she’d say, smirkin’, like she’s tappin’ phones in a brothel. Hilarious, right? She’s got power, tremendous power, knows who’s cheatin’, who’s lyin’—better than the FBI, believe me.

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Then, I bumped into my buddy, Rudi. He’s always got some wild stories. He tells me he saw a dolphin earlier. A dolphin! In Teluk-Nibung! I was like, “Dude, you sure it wasn’t just a big fish?” But he swears it was real. I mean, I’m happy for him, but also, where’s my dolphin sighting?

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