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So, I tried it once—Hinge, I think. Bio said “looking for fun,” and this dude messages me, “u up?” at 2 a.m. Like, bro, I’m not a booty-call vending machine! Made me so mad I nearly threw my phone. But then, get this—little known fact—back in the ‘90s, people used newspaper ads for this crap! “SWF seeks SWM”—same game, less nudes. Wild, right? History’s just horny on repeat.

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After brekkie, I stroll down to the market on Jalan Yos Sudarso. It’s packed, like sardines in a can. I’m dodging people left and right. Suddenly, I hear this loud commotion. Turns out, some dude is tryin’ to haggle over a bunch of durians. Like, bro, it’s not that serious! But hey, I get it. Durians are life.

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