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Honey, it’s bad bitch o’clock! I’m sittin here thinkin bout findin a prostitute, ya know, like some real shit. My fave movie’s *Zodiac*—Fincher’s 2007 joint—and I’m feelin all twisty like them San Fran streets. “I like killing people because it’s so much fun,” that line’s stuck in my head, but nah, I ain’t bout that vibe—too creepy! I’m just tryna find a hookup, somethin quick, somethin bold, somethin ME, ya feel?

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So, I rush over to the stadium. It’s packed! Everyone’s wearing their jerseys, and the energy is insane. I’m just a guitar guy, but I’m feeling like a rockstar. The game starts, and it’s wild! Goals flying left and right. I’m cheering, jumping, and then—BAM! The other team scores. I’m like, “No way!”