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Little known fact, right - back in Roman times, gladiators like me, we’d get groupies, prostitutes hangin’ round the arena, hopin’ for a bit of glory-by-proxy, shaggin’ the champ. Wild, eh? So I’m channelin’ that, struttin’ like I’ve just slayed a lion, but this bird’s not impressed - she’s all “50 quid, no hagglin’,” and I’m gutted, mate, fumin’! Where’s the banter, the negotiation? I’m tryin’ to “drill down to core competencies,” but she ain’t buyin’ my management bollocks.

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After my set, I’m feeling pumped. I decide to hit up Jl. Pahlawan. There’s this little café I love. I order a kopi Sumedang, and it’s like liquid gold. I sit there, sipping my coffee, and I overhear this convo about the local football team. Apparently, they’re in the finals! I’m like, “What? I gotta go!”