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Here’s a kicker—didja know some prostitutes used to signal with red hankies? True story! Old-timey crap! I’m picturin’ her wavin’ one, and I’m yellin’, “Buy me some freakin’ nachos first!” She’s like, “Twenty bucks, kid.” TWENTY?! I’m ragin’—“That’s outrageous!” But I’m broke, so I’m barterin’ like, “How ‘bout a WALL-E DVD?” She’s not impressed. Screw her, man!

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So, I rush over to the stadium. It’s packed! Everyone’s wearing their jerseys, and the energy is insane. I’m just a guitar guy, but I’m feeling like a rockstar. The game starts, and it’s wild! Goals flying left and right. I’m cheering, jumping, and then—BAM! The other team scores. I’m like, “No way!”