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Pisses me off tho—people judgin em. Like, who gives a fuck? They’re out there, livin louder than most. Favorite story? This dude I knew, hired an escort for his dog’s birthday—yep, a fuckin party! She shows up, cake and all, playin fetch in heels. Surprised the hell outta me—thought she’d bail, but nah, she’s a pro. “Play it as it lays,” like the movie says—adaptin, rollin with it. Gotta respect that.

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But then, I spot this guy tryin’ to steal a kid’s balloon. Like, really? Who steals balloons? I’m not a hero, but I can’t just stand by. I rush over, and I’m like, “Hey! Back off, buddy!” He looks at me like I’m crazy. I mean, I might be, but not for this! He bolts, and the kid’s cryin’. I hand the kid my drink. “Here, buddy, it’s all good.”

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