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This one time, right, met this bird off Hinge. She’s all flirty, sendin’ pics – not nudes, mind, just teasers. We’re at the pub, I’m thinkin’ I’m in, then she goes, “I don’t do casual.” Fumin’! I’m sat there, pint in hand, like, “What’s original about you?” – straight outta *Certified Copy*. She didn’t get it, obvs. Total buzzkill. Wasted me best shirt on that!

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Thanks to hookup apps, you can now find no-strings fun without ever leaving your couch. Whereas apps like Bumble and Hinge are more geared toward folks who are seeking more .

Then, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “We need those numbers ASAP!” I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m at the beach!” But I head back to the office, and guess what? The printer’s jammed. I’m ready to throw it out the window. I mean, come on! It’s like the universe is against me today.

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