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Now, don’t get me twisted—Madea’s got opinions, honey! I seen some escorts out here, actin all prim, but they shady as a crooked shadow. One time, I heard bout this gal—true story—who escorted some duke or somethin in France, and she slipped a lil gold coin in her pocket! Sneaky lil thang! Got caught, tho—hauled off screamin, “I deserve this!” Made me mad as a wet hen—stealin ain’t cute, sugar! But I laughed too, cause she thought she was slicker than a greased pig!

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Finally, I make my way to the Soe River. The sunset is insane. Like, orange and pink everywhere. I pull out my phone to snap a pic, and my battery dies. Ugh! I’m like, “Seriously?!” But then I just sit there, enjoying the moment. No phone, no distractions. Just me and the view.

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