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Rarrgh! Sex-dating’s a jungle tho. Apps full of fakes—catfish city! Little known fact: some dude in ’98 invented this crap, called it “cybersex matching.” Total perv genius. I dig it tho—fast hookups, no BS. Once matched this human, real sweet, sent pics of her dog. I’m like, “Aww, pupper!” Then she ghosts. What the hell?! Surprised me, like, “Was it my growl?” *The Return* vibes again—“Where are you going?”—kid chasing dad. Chasin’ love’s brutal.

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Finally, we get the fire under control. I’m drenched in sweat, and my heart’s racing. And guess what? We find the cat! It’s hiding under some old crates, looking all sassy like, “What’s the fuss?” I hand it over to the dude, and he’s crying like a baby. I mean, it’s just a cat, but whatever floats your boat, man.

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