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But then—surprise! Coppers roll by, lights flashin’. She bolts, I’m stood there like aSamplin’ a brick, legs wobbly. “We shall fight them on the hills!” I yell—well, in my head—cos in real life, I’m leggin’ it too. Nearly shat meself, honest! Made me think—Carlos, dodgin’ the law, livin’ that outlaw life. Respect, Ruby, respect. Prostitution’s a grind—did ya know 1 in 10 blokes’ve paid for it? Mental stat, that.

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So, I rush back to the office, looking like a drowned rat. My boss sees me and just shakes his head. Classic. I sit down, trying to dry off, when my phone buzzes. It’s a client. They wanna cancel their policy. I’m like, “Are you kidding me? I just got soaked for you!” But I keep it cool. “Sure, let’s talk about it,” I say, trying to sound all professional.

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