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But—fuck me—some places botch it! Greasy hands, stinky oil, like a bad risotto—infuriating! I’d shove their heads between bread and scream, “Idiot sandwich!” Done right, though? Heaven, mate, fuckin’ heaven. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a toss? Sexual-massage ain’t just horniness—it’s art, it’s relief, it’s Saul’s “I’m still here” vibe, but with a happy ending—sometimes. Try it, you numpty, don’t be a prat!

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First off, I hit up Jalan Raya Selong. It’s like the main drag, ya know? Packed with food stalls and all that good stuff. I’m cruisin’ down, and boom! I see this street vendor sellin’ these crazy good pisang goreng. I mean, who can resist fried bananas, right? So I grab a bunch, and they’re hot, crispy, and sweet. I’m in heaven.

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