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About Jakarta

Man, lemme tell ya, motherfucker, sexual-massage is some wild shit! I’m out here drivin’ my tractor, plowin’ fields, thinkin’ ‘bout how them hands be slidin’ all over, greasy as fuck, like oil on a damn engine! Ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, this shit’s got intent, ya feel me? Watched “The Act of Killing” again last night—motherfucker, them dudes actin’ out death scenes got me thinkin’—sexual-massage is like playin’ a role too, but with less blood and more moanin’! “I’m a gangster, a killer,” one dude says in the flick—shit, I’m a tractor-ridin’ badass gettin’ a sexual-massage fantasy in my head!

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Then, I head over to the market on Jalan Pahlawan. It’s a total madhouse! People everywhere, haggling like it’s an Olympic sport. I’m tryin’ to guide this group of tourists, and they’re all like, “What’s that? What’s this?” I’m like, “Dude, chill! Just soak it all in!” But they’re not havin’ it.

Embassy working to bring back remains of Malaysian killed in Lombok quake