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So, I’m out, tryna scope one out – not for me, mind ya, just curious, right? Streets smell like old cheese, kinda like Remy’s kitchen stash. Saw this one lass, dolled up, leanin’ on a lamppost – thought, “She’s got potential, like Remy’s soup!” But nah, mate, she was a trap – cop undercover! Nearly got nabbed, screamin’ “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” in my head, leggin’ it down an alley. Heart poundin’, pissed me off – why’s it gotta be so sketchy?

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But then, I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I rush over, feeling like a superhero. I’m like, “Let me help you!” She smiles, and I’m like, “Yes! Good karma!” But then, she starts telling me her life story. I’m standing there, nodding, but inside I’m like, “I just wanted to help, not get a TED Talk!”

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