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Oh, and the scams! Catfishers everywhere—had this one chick, gorgeous pics, turns out it’s a dude in Ohio. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!” Laughed it off, but c’mon, that’s low. Still, when it works—man, it’s gold. Met this guy once, total sweetheart, we’re talkin’ sex-dating horror stories, and he goes, “I learned how to live here,” quotin’ the film. Deep, right? Made me think—sex-dating’s chaotic, messy, but it’s us figurin’ shit out.

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Finally, I made it to the meeting. My client was already there, looking all serious. I was like, “Dude, you could’ve texted me!” But he just shrugged. Whatever. We talked about career paths and stuff. I tried to sound all wise and professional, but inside, I was still half-asleep.

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