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It’s showtime! Alright, pal, lemme spill the beans—erotic-massage, man, it’s wild! I’m sittin’ here, head of the lab, thinkin’ how it’s all touchy-feely vibes but with a twist. Like in *Ten*, ya know, where that chick’s drivin’ round, chattin’ life—erotic-massage is that ride, but sexier! “The world’s a mess,” she says in the flick, and I’m like, yeah, ‘cept when hands are kneadin’ ya into mush. Ain’t no science to it—just pure, sloppy art.

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Finally, I get to the café, and guess what? My boss is already there, looking all serious. Ugh, the pressure! I order my coffee, and it’s like the barista can read my mind. “You look like you need a double shot.” Right? I’m like, “You have no idea!”