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So, I tried it once—prolly shouldn’t admit this—buddy of mine swore it’d “fix my soul.” Walked in, dim lights, incense burnin’, chick’s like, “Relax, Beetlejuice,” and I’m like, HA, good luck! She starts kneadin’ my back, and I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t no regular rubdown!” Little known fact—ancient Egypt had sexual-massage rituals, legit, pharaohs got it on the regular. Made me happy as hell—history’s freaky, man!

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Finally, I escape and head to the park near Alun-Alun Rangkasbitung. I just wanna chill, ya know? But then, I see this group of teenagers blasting music. Like, seriously? It’s a park, not a club! I’m trying to enjoy the sound of nature, and they’re over here with their loudspeakers. I’m about to lose it. But then, one of them starts dancing, and I can’t help but laugh. It’s like a bad TikTok video come to life.

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