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Lemme tell ya, doc, I seen some wild stuff. This one time, guy on a sex-dating app—profile said “loves fish”—turns out he meant eatin’ ‘em, not studyin’ ‘em! Pissed me off, man, I was like, “What’s this malarkey?” Wasted my time, coulda been dissecting a trout! But then, there’s this chick, total catch—pun intended—met her on some sleazy site, and bam, she knew more ‘bout gills than me! Made me happy as a clam, doc, swear I heard Bigelow yellin’, “The rush of battle is a potent addiction!” ‘Cept it’s the rush of sextin’, ha!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I dash for cover under this awning on Jalan Jendral Sudirman. I’m standing there, dripping, and I see this old dude trying to sell umbrellas. He’s got this huge grin, like he’s just won the lottery. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re selling umbrellas in a storm. You’re the real MVP.”

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