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*spills tea, gasps* Oh blimey! So, sexual-massage—bit naughty, bit nice. “This is my art, my gift,” like Bigelow’s bomb bloke said. Gotta be gentle, skillful, yeah? Else it’s—whack!—disaster. Me mate Dave tried it, said it was “fuckin’ lush,” but he’s a plonker, so who knows? *shrugs, trips again* Reckon it’s brill when done right—soft touch, happy endin’, hnnnngh! What you think, eh? *grins, winks*

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But then, back to the grind. Next up, a group of teenagers. They’re loud, obnoxious, and full of energy. They pile in, and I’m like, “Whoa, easy there!” They’re all talkin’ about the latest TikTok trends and I’m just tryin’ to keep my cool. One of ‘em, this dude with bright blue hair, starts doin’ some dance moves in the elevator. I’m like, “Bro, this ain’t a club!” But I can’t help but laugh.

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