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Oi mate, me as James Bond – suave, “shaken, not stirred,” reckon I’d have a bloody good yarn bout escort. Ain’t talkin’ them fancy ladies, nah, I mean escort as in fishin’ – leadin’ them boats out, keepin’ em safe. Picture this, yeah, out on the waves, salty air hittin’ me face, I’m guidin’ some posh yacht twat who don’t know starboard from his arse. Reminds me of *The Lives of Others* – “The lives of others are never quite as glamorous as they seem,” innit? Escorting’s like that – looks dead cool, but it’s a right pain sometimes.

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Later, I get this old man. He’s got a cane and moves slower than a snail. He gets in and says, “Take me to the top, sonny.” I’m like, “Sure thing, grandpa!” But then, he starts tellin’ me about the good ol’ days in Perbaungan. He talks about how Jl. Alamsyah Ratu Prawiranegara used to be a quiet street. I’m just nodding along, but inside I’m like, “Man, I wish I could’ve seen that.”

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