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Oi mate, erotic-massage, yeah? What a bloody treat! Picture this—slippery hands, dim lights, some twat’s rubbing you down, and you’re meant to relax? Piss off! I’m lying there, thinking, “This is Joy from Inside Out, innit?” All happy and tingly, like she’s bouncing round me head! Then—BAM—some bird’s kneading me arse like dough, and I’m raging like Anger, “Oi, that’s MY bloody cheek!” Costs a bomb too, fifty quid for a fumble? Robbery!

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Then, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “Where are you?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in Modisi, livin’ my best life!” He’s not amused. Apparently, I’m late for a meeting. Ugh, typical. So, I rush over to Jl. Merdeka, where the office is. I’m sprinting, dodging scooters and stray cats. I swear, I almost tripped over a chicken. A chicken! Only in Modisi, man.

Magnitude 6.1 earthquake strikes Indonesia