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And the risks! Oh, don’t get me started. You’re dodgin’ cops, STDs, and God knows what else. I’d be whisperin’ to myself, “This is how I die, isn’t it?” Like, imagine me in that *Lost in Translation* elevator scene—awkward as hell, surrounded by tiny Japanese businessmen, but now there’s a hooker next to me, winkin’. I’d freak out! “What am I supposed to say to her?!” Probably somethin’ dumb like, “So, uh, you come here often?” Total trainwreck.

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First stop, the local warung for some breakfast. I’m talking about that classic nasi goreng, the kind that makes you feel like you can conquer the world. I’m munching away, and suddenly, this stray cat jumps on my table. I’m like, “Dude, I didn’t order a side of feline!” But it was cute, so I gave it a bit of my fried rice. I mean, who can resist those big eyes, right?