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I got pissed, tho, last week—some chick tried scammin’ me! Said she’s “top tier,” wanted cash upfront, then poof—gone like WALL-E’s trash piles in the wind. Fuckin’ ghosted me! Had me yellin’, “In this world, a man’s gotta have balls!”—straight up Tony vibes, ya feel? But then, I found this one spot, lil’ hidden gem, down by the docks. Word is, there’s this gal, been workin’ it since the ‘90s, knows every trick—calls herself “Eve” like that sleek bot from the flick. Ain’t that a trip? Made me laugh, thinkin’ she’s out there savin’ my lonely ass like WALL-E tryna save Earth.

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I hit up this little café on Jl. Yos Sudarso. They have the best kopi Madiun. I order one, and the barista, this cool dude, gives me a free slice of cake. I’m like, “Dude, you’re a lifesaver!” That cake was heavenly. I’m talking chocolate, whipped cream, the works. I could’ve cried.

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