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But yo, it pisses me off sometimes. These apps—full of fakes catfishing ya with filters. “Don’t pee on my leg,” I say, when some dude’s pic screams 2010 MySpace vibes. Then ya meet, and it’s like—where’s the six-pack, bro? False advertising! Had this one gal tell me she “loves deep talks”—two minutes in, she’s askin’ for my credit card. Nah, fam, I’m out—like that scene in *Under the Skin*, “You think you know me?” Nope, vanishin’ into the void, peace out!

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So, I’m tryin’ to shake that off, right? I stop by this little warung on Jalan Pantai. Best nasi goreng ever! I’m talkin’ spicy, flavorful, the whole shebang. I’m munchin’ away, and this local dude starts chattin’ me up. He’s like, “You like Labuan? It’s chill, right?” I’m like, “Yeah, man! But watch out for those bikers!” We both laugh, and I’m feelin’ good again.

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