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I tried it once, okay? Matched with this guy, tatted up, lookin fine. We’re textin, he’s all “wanna chill?” I’m like, yas, let’s do this! But then—red flag—he asks for nudes before we even meet. Bitch, what? I ain’t Richie Tenenbaum, pinin over some creep! “You’re not listening to me,” I wanted to scream, like Royal yellin at the fam. Blocked his ass so fast, my phone overheated. Made me mad as hell—don’t waste my time, boo!

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First off, I hit the streets of Jalan Diponegoro. It’s like the main drag, ya know? I’m just strolling, minding my own biz, when I see this street vendor selling the best jaje laklak. Like, I’m talking fluffy coconut pancakes that make your taste buds dance. I grab one, and boom! Instant happiness.

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