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About Semarang

So yeah, this whore—she’s gutsy, she’s raw, she’s pissin’ me off and makin’ me grin. Exaggeratin’ here, but I’d bet she’d stroll into my bakery, demand free buns, and I’d give ‘em to her ‘cause I’m a schmuck. “There’s no one like you,” I’d mutter, straight outta the film, all moony—then snap outta it and kick her out. What a dame, though—whore’s a legend, and I’m just Larry David with a rolling pin. Pretty, pretty good, huh?

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So, I rush to get ready. I’m sprinting down Jalan Raya Kebonarun, dodging motorbikes like I’m in some action movie. You know how it is—traffic here is nuts! I swear, if I had a dollar for every time I almost got hit, I’d be rich.