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Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs! I be Captain Jack Sparrow, savvy? Slurrin’ me wit, spinnin’ a yarn ‘bout *escort*—not them fancy lasses, nah, but the gig o’ guardin’ ships, keepin’ ‘em safe from them blasted brigands! Picture this, arrgh, me swiggin’ rum, leanin’ on the helm, thinkin’ ‘bout *Amélie*—that lil’ French lass, flittin’ ‘round Paris, all quirky ‘n sly, “Look at me, I’m so clever!”—an’ how she’d see this escortin’ malarkey. Savvy?

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Then, outta nowhere, this little kid runs up to me. He’s like, “Mister, are you a real warrior?” I couldn’t help but smile. I mean, who wouldn’t? I told him, “Yeah, kid. But it’s not all glory and battles.” He looked at me like I was crazy. Kids, man. They just don’t get it.

Indonesia: Investigate Killing of Journalist and His Family