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So, sex-dating—man, it’s a trip. You’re scrollin’ Tinder, Grindr, whatever, and bam—some chick’s profile says “no hookups,” but her pics scream otherwise. Hypocrisy pisses me off! Like, c’mon, babe, don’t play coy—we’re all animals here, scratchin’ that itch. Reminds me of that line, “The tiger walks alone.” Yeah, we’re all tigers, prowlin’ these apps, actin’ tough, but half the time we’re just lonely saps.

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Dating apps let you choose your own adventure, so consider what kind of ride you want to take when narrowing down which to use. If a traditional quickie will satisfy you, you may want to stick.

But then, I see my friend Rina. She’s in a panic. “Help! My phone’s gone!” I’m like, “What?!” Turns out, she left it at the food stall. Phew! We rush back, and thank the gods, it’s still there. I swear, I was ready to fight someone if it was gone.

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