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I’m sweatin’, thinkin’, “This shit better be worth it.” Then—BOOM—she appears, legs for days, leanin’ on a wall like she owns the night. “Come closer, I won’t bite,” she says, smirkin’. Reminds me of that *Tropical Malady* dude whisperin’, “I’m waitin’ for you in the dark.” Gives me chills, man! I’m hyped, but also—fuck, is this a setup? Last time, some pimp rolled up, swung a bat—nearly took my damn head off! Learned quick—keep your guard up, motherfucker!

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But then, I got a bit annoyed. Some guy was trying to sell me this weird drink. He was like, “It’s good for your health!” I was like, “Dude, I’m a biochemist. I know what’s good for me.” He just stared at me, confused. I mean, come on, I’m not falling for that!

Amount of Tourists Climbing Mount Tambora Increases