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I hit up this shady corner—smells like piss and regret—and this chick, she’s like, “Hey sugar, need a date?” I’m sweatin bullets, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in mud, but also pissed! Why’s it gotta be so sketchy? “You’re too tense,” she says, and I’m like, “Lady, I balance books for a livin!” Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that scene where he’s in drag, actin nuts— “People don’t see what’s real!” I’m thinkin, she don’t see I’m a nervous wreck!

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This time, it’s at a house on Jalan Merdeka. I’m like, “Can’t a guy catch a break?” But duty calls, so off I go again. When I get there, it’s a small fire, thank goodness. Just some old furniture catching flames. I’m in and out in no time, but the lady of the house is crying. I mean, I get it, but it’s just stuff, right? I try to cheer her up, but she’s not having it.

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